Apr 12, 20233 min read

Fighting Against What You Don’t Want Won’t Bring You What You Do Want!

Updated: Apr 29

Blue background, with someone holding a dandelion with blog title.

If you want to get serious about making changes in your life you need to start getting seriously positive! Focus on the positive things and you’ll get positive changes. Focus on the negative and you’ll get more of the same or worse.

But I can’t find a positive! What can I do?

You may not be able to find a positive in what you are doing, but the changes you want to make are positive, are they not?

Try re-framing your thoughts, words, and yes, even your attitude.

Let’s use an example:

Suppose you hate your job; you are waking up every workday dreading going in. Your mood is low, your body tense, and your thoughts are overwhelmingly negative. How is any of this going to attract great opportunities to you?

Instead of thinking

“I can’t wait to leave this place”

Try thinking

“I can’t wait to start my new job”

Think about what you want.

When you put all of your energy into something you get more of it – so putting all your thoughts, words and attitude towards a job you hate, you are never gonna get out of there!

Putting all of your energy into the new, the positive, the job you want (even if you haven’t found it yet) is going to bring it to you.

And yes, I know it sounds like I’m asking the impossible, and I know it’s not easy to stop wishing you didn’t have to go to that place five days a week, with those people or doing that job when you feel so passionate about leaving. The irony is – the more passionate you feel, the more energy you are putting into something that makes you desperately unhappy.

Think about the job you want, the type of people you want to work with, the kind of boss you want – or maybe you want to be the boss – put your energies into thinking about that – visualise it, talk about it, let that be what swirls around in your mind.

Not many of us are in a position where we can just walk away from a job that is making us unhappy – so what do we do in the meantime?

Let go of the anger, resentment, and frustration of what you have. Show up – do your job - whilst reminding yourself to focus and visualise what you do want. You will find it easier to be there when you know that good changes are on their way to you.

It may sound too simple – and it is very simple in its concept – but it’s not as easy to implement and I won’t pretend it is. It will take time. You can do this, and the benefits will come if you do. Every time you find yourself with negative thoughts about your job/workplace – take a moment and re-frame it to what you do want.

And just in case you think this is all mumbo-jumbo and I’m just sitting in my perfect house with my perfect job and perfect life – please let me reassure you that I didn’t learn this lesson until I was 50 and had been unhappy in my job for more years than I want to admit to!

There’s an old saying “life is what you make it” change that up to “your life is what you think it is” and you’ll be on the right track.

Have you heard the phrase “what you resist – persists”?

If you are resisting anything in your life and it doesn’t just apply to your job, (that was just an example), it will persist in your life. Accept what is, and focus on what you WANT and very soon you will see the difference it makes.

Blue background, with someone holding a dandelion with quote below added.

The secret to change is to focus all of your energy not in fighting the old, but on building the new. - Socrates

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